In a world of unknowns, Jesus is the only constant, sure thing I know of. I’ve been going through this process of seeking God for direction for my future. I found direction, just not the kind I was looking for initially. What I have received is a reminder of my purpose.

I’ve put so much stock into my calling and I’ve neglected my purpose. My calling and my purpose are not the same things. It’s easy to confuse the two because when we hear and see God show us our callings, we get so excited and often act prematurely. In doing so we forget that our purpose is to walk in intimacy with our loving Creator and allow Him to lead us into our calling in His timing. I don’t know what my calling completely consists of, but I know it’s intertwined with orphans. I was praying about this the other night and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that He’s allowed nearly everything in my life to have a question mark behind it. What does that mean? Well, I have desires to finish my education, I have desires to spend a year away from everything else and just reside with Jesus, and I have desires to continue pouring my heart out here in Haiti. So what am I suppose to be doing right now? Or is it something completely different and new? My heart is torn because I wish I could do everything at once. But as I was praying I kept hearing the Holy Spirit tell me not to pursue my calling, but rather my purpose. Scripture says to seek the Kingdom of Heaven first and all these things will be added to you. It’s as if we think we will find God when we pursue our calling instead of finding Him first and letting His work in your life become the overflow and dictate your calling. We get it switched around and this can be such a hindrance in our lives as believers if we don’t realize it. How often do we take our calling and let it consume our thoughts, actions, and time? All the while letting our purpose (relationship with God) come second in line. I’m certainly not saying that God hasn’t given you desires and dreams for your calling and your life (and we need to steward those gifts), but he never intended for those things to be distractions drawing you away from your Creator who desires ultimate transparency and intimacy. Satan knows that if he can keep us occupied by doing good “Christian” things and pursuing that as if it’s the only reason we’re alive, well he knows that he’s winning. As long as our relationship with Christ isn’t thriving Satan couldn’t care less what you’re doing. Because He knows that your relationship with Christ is the foundation for whatever calling God has placed on your life. That’s why God has clouded my future for the time being, because quite simply, my future is not what matters right now. I’ve felt the Lord tell me I need to have peace about whatever happens next for me. Because you see, there is something completely wrong if I find my peace in what I’m doing rather than who is walking this journey with me. Jesus is peace, not my dreams and desires.

What if Gods purpose and desire for your life was not to start a worldwide movement through you? What if instead, it was to lock eyes with your Creator and enjoy His presence? It seems unrealistic and unattainable for a lot of us because it’s not “practical”, but this is the reason we were created. We were created to be loved, and to become love. And who knows…God may start a worldwide movement through you. But whether He does or not it’s beside the point. Don’t strive to produce fruit. Abide in His presence and enjoy being a Son and Daughter of God Himself.

I believe with my whole heart as I seek Him and His presence first, my dreams will become reality and He will give me the wisdom and direction I need to make the decisions I am faced with. In the end God uses your calling to draw you even closer to Him. It ALWAYS comes back to Him. Jesus. In a world of unknowns, Jesus is the only constant, sure thing I know of.